Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

As the 20 year anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall approaches, the MSM remains silent about the shocking decision of the US President not to attend the celebrations.

Obama’s handlers claim he is too busy to visit Germany to commemorate the fall of the Berlin Wall. He does, however, have time for:

  • 24 rounds of golf this year
  • a quick trip to Copenhagen to embarrass himself in front of the world
  • basketball games with the staff
  • date nights with the wifey
  • a vacation in Martha’s Vineyard
  • watching himself on TV **Newsbusters retracted this story
  • months of dithering about a strategy in Afghanistan
  • a “kiss-up to the Chinese” tour

Germany is going to have to wait longer than expected for US President Barack Obama’s first official visit. Citing government sources in Berlin, Reuters reported on Friday that Obama will not attend the anniversary festivities marking two decades since the fall of the Berlin Wall. The event will take place on Nov. 9 — just two days before Obama embarks on a long-planned trip to Asia on Nov. 11.

Long planned? Longer than last summer?

Obama has not visited Berlin sincetaking power*. He was in Germany briefly in June, when he made stops in Dresden and at the Buchenwald concentration camp memorial. It was during that trip that Merkel extended the invitation for Obama to help Germany celebrate the fall of the Wall. *taking power? Wow.

They really should read this stuff more carefully before they publish it.


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No Drama, Obama

I’d love to be a fly on the wall in the West Wing right now. Rahm raging through the halls slamming doors and reaching far down into his lexicon of colorful expressions while terrified aides wish themselves invisible…Gibbs in front of his bathroom mirror rehearsing his lines…obama_poster_crybaby

  • “No really, Obama didn’t watch the returns last night.”
  • “Off-year elections mean nothing”
  • “No, I don’t think this sends any sort of a signal about the popularity of Obama’s agenda”
  • “This will not affect the way we do business”
  • “We have more important things to focus on”
  • “Distraction”

While Obama slumps on a rusty piece of gym equipment smoking a ciggie and muttering, “Typical white people.”

Get used to it, baby. There’s a lot more where that came from.



“I don’t think the president is looking at these and believes that they say anything about our future legislative efforts or our future political efforts,” said Mr Gibbs.

I don’t believe that local elections in New Jersey and Virginia portend a lot about legislative success or political success in the future.”

Course not, no worries Gibbsy! Carry on.

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Even blind, deaf, and recently dead Americans all know by now that the donkey in elephant’s clothing, Dede Scozzafava, has bowed out of the race she didn’t have a snowball’s chance in Hades of winning. The Congressional seat she was confidently preparing to park her double-wide pantsuit in has been held by Republicans since 1871, though by ever-shrinking margins the last few elections. The district went to Obama by five points last year, and the Democrats sat up and took notice.

golfBy an astonishing coincidence that had nothing to do with political gamesmanship, Obama happened to pick the ‘moderate’ Republican who held the seat (John McHugh) to fill a Cabinet position, thereby leaving the seat up for grabs this year. The Republican ‘leadership’ picked a Democrat with an ‘R’ after her name to run against the Democrat with a ‘D’ after his name. The guy who didn’t pretend to be something he wasn’t looked likely swing the district to the blue column, till a masked man on a white horse came galloping into the fray with six-guns blazing. Doug Hoffman was his name, and he was one we had been waiting for…

Both the Democrats swung around to take potshots at him, but little did they know he had a sidekick. Sarah Palin could see the fight from an island in Alaska, and she pointed her finger and yelled, “Bang!”. The stuffed pantsuit dropped like a stone and crawled for the exit, while her male counterpart screamed like a little girl and dove under the nearest ACORN tree.

While he is praying to the gods of the stuffed ballot box, let us take a moment to remember the RINO’s who brought us here today:

The National Republican Congressional Committee Chairman: Pete Sessions

  • Newt Gingrich
  • Michael Steele
  • Dede Scozzafava

May God have mercy on them, for Sarah Palin surely won’t.

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Sunday Funnies

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Reason Number 836,934,521

Why Biden will never be invited to a Bilderberg meeting…

Vice President Joe Biden, during a visit Tuesday to a Delaware automotive assembly plant, unwittingly revealed startup manufacturer Fisker Automotive’s undisclosed plans to produce a full line of plug-in hybrid vehicles at the facility.

In an interview with Foxnews.com after the presentation, company founder and CEO Henrik Fisker confirmed that what Biden said was accurate.

“He definitely told what our product plans are,” Fisker laughed, adding that all of his company’s cars are being developed from the start with at least three derivatives in mind.

Just for laughs, let’s take a brief stroll down Braying Jackass Lane…

Biden gave up one of the country’s secrets at a dinner where journalists and politicians make fun of Republicans and occasionally each other. Joey blabbed to his dinnermates about the existence of a secret bunker under the Vice President’s Residence at the U.S. Naval Observatory. Just can’t stick to the weather, like the rest us. Had to go and try to look like a big shot. This is for you, Joe.

Biden warned supporters that our enemies would very likely test Obama within the first six months if he is elected president, much like Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev tested newly elected president John Kennedy. Biden also warned that Obama might not handle it well. Obama’s “gonna need your help to use your influence within the community to stand with him. Because it’s not gonna be apparent initially, it’s not gonna be apparent that we’re right.” —Gird your loins, folks. They’re not even in the same hemisphere as right.


“If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there’s still a 30 percent chance we’re going to get it wrong.”—Channeling his inner Yogi Berra while discussing the stimulus package to members of Congress on February 6.

“Give me a f______ break!”—To a former Senate colleague who addressed him as “Mr. Vice President” at a March 13 event in Washington’s Union Station. Please God, let that be the only bomb he ever has control over…

Forever and ever.


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Not Tonight, Dear

I Have a Headache.

Clinton Defers Role in South Asia Feud

After poking their noses into the internal affairs of Honduras, issuing ineffective demands upon Israel regarding settlements in their own country, and shooting off at the mouth about American talk show hosts, cable networks, and a police officer in Massachusetts who was just doing his job, the Obama administration has finally found something it intends to stay out of.

Apparently, they think that their input wouldn’t do any good, and may even increase tension.

Alright, who hit them with the clue bat?

Pakistan said it is open to the U.S. playing a more direct role in resolving the Kashmir dispute, but Indian officials reject third-party mediation. New Delhi said it is open to resuming its bilateral dialogue with Pakistan, but needs Islamabad to crack down on the militant groups that attacked Mumbai.

Pakistanis have particularly criticized a nuclear-cooperation agreement between Washington and New Delhi. The pact, reached last year, allows the U.S. and other nations to sell nuclear fuels and technologies to India, despite New Delhi’s refusal to sign the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty.

Good thing we’ve got all those brainiacs in D.C., otherwise I’d have trouble sleeping at night….

For a little comic relief, here’s a piece on Hillary’s attempt to let her hair down and be one of the gals.

(Newser) – Hillary Clinton was relaxed in her town hall-style address to professional Pakistani women today in Islamabad, discussing “habits of the heart,” like tolerance and compromise, and touting the female doctors sent on US aid missions to Pakistan. It was nice, she said with a chuckle, to not talk about security for once. But the women wanted to talk security, the Christian Science Monitor observes, and they left feeling frustrated.

“Frankly, it was a waste of my time,” said one assistant professor. Clinton “wasn’t interested in hearing about the layman’s problems.” The questions that earned the most applause from the audience concerned drone attacks, Pakistan’s nuclear arsenal, and the Kashmir conflict. Clinton’s responses were too “reserved,” said one woman. “Why were we here? What did they want us to ask?” The answer: one State Department rep said the meeting was designed to imitate The View.

This is gold, Jerry! Gold!

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Meet the New Boss

“Same as the Old Boss.”

WASHINGTON (AP) – President Barack Obama brought back Bush-era military trials for terror suspects at Guantanamo Bay on Wednesday by signing new rules into law that will give detainees stronger legal rights in court.

Jameel Jaffer, a national security attorney with the American Civil Liberties Union, said the new system still lets the military prosecute a broader group of detainees than U.S. and international law allows. It also does not prohibit the prosecution of children in military trials. –How does that Hope and Change thing go, again?

Obama continues assault on democratic rights –the World Socialist Website (I love it when these people eat their own.)

12 October 2009

Actions taken by President Barack Obama over the past month have confirmed that he is every bit as committed as his predecessor, George W. Bush, to the expansion of the police powers of the state.

Last week, Obama moved to significantly weaken a “media shield” bill advancing through Congress that would give new protection to government whistle-blowers and journalists in cases involving sources who speak with reporters on condition of anonymity. It marked yet another volte-face for Obama, who as a senator championed a similar measure.

Last month, the Obama administration announced that it would seek to extend three provisions of the USA Patriot Act set to expire by year’s end. The provisions allow the government to operate roving wire taps, search any individual’s business, personal, and even library records upon presentation of a national security letter, and spy on so-called “lone wolf” suspects, i.e., foreign nationals who have no known links to groups designated as terrorist.

It now appears that Congress will extend the provisions.

What these poor saps don’t seem to realize is, “No government entity voluntarily surrenders power”. That principle is right up there with “What goes up must come down”, “No two objects can occupy the same space at the same time”, and “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”.

The poor saps continue–

Obama, no less than Bush, represents the interests of the American financial aristocracy. Internationally, it increasingly employs military aggression in pursuit of its global economic and strategic aims in an attempt to offset the decline in its world economic position. At home, it turns to anti-democratic methods to defend an economic system that promotes staggering levels of inequality and growing social misery for broad masses of working people.

The ever more pronounced concentration of wealth at the very top of society and heightening of class tensions are ultimately incompatible with democratic procedures and methods of rule. The trampling of the Bill of Rights and habeas corpus is bound up with an awareness in ruling circles that their policies must give rise to social opposition. The police-state framework built up under Bush and Obama is a response by the ruling elite to a threat not from foreign terrorists, but from its main enemy—the American working class.

Stop it, you’re scaring me. Apparently, even a crazy squirrel finds a nut every now and then…

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